Friday, April 21, 2006

Best of Durrati

Just a fun post, I wrote the damn things might as well have 'em in my archives too....

Most venerable and manly One, I hope you have enjoyed your downtime.

All this talk of mounted tapirs and LSD cults has this denizen of our less than fully celestialized planet's head spinning. There is so much under the fully populated Sun that I have heretofore been sorely ignorant. For example just where did the Prophet Brigham Young, a shining example of the benefits home schooling if I ever read one, locate the peyote cactus he obviously enjoyed as he employed his fair command of grammer and dearth of scientific knowledge to produce these writings? Did he perhaps use Joe Smith's "Seer Stone"?

"Joseph Smith, Jr.'s role in the quest for treasure was especially important since he had a seer stone. Joseph would place this small, special rock in his hat then pull the hat up to his face to block out all light. By doing this he claimed he could see supernaturally, and would help those who were digging by locating the place where the treasure was buried and observing the spirits that were guarding it. Joseph Jr., himself admitted to being a money digger, though he said it was never very profitable for him (History of the Church, V. 3, p. 29). He and his father's money digging continued until at least 1826. On March 20th of that year Joseph was arrested, brought before a judge, and charged with being a "glass-looker" and a disorderly person. The laws at that time had what was known as the "Vagrant Act." It defined a disorderly person as one who pretended to have skill in the areas of palmistry, telling fortunes or discovering where lost goods might be found. According to court records Justice Neely determined that Joseph was guilty, though no penalty was administered, quite possibly because this was a first offense (Inventing Mormonism, Marquardt and Walters, SLC: Signature Books, 1994, pp. 74-75).Shortly after this Joseph discontinued money digging but kept his seer stone. It was with the seer stone that he claimed to both find the plates and later produce the Book of Mormon. This was known by early converts but has since been replaced with later accounts of an angelic visitor. This transition was aided by downplaying the fact that Moroni was a dead Indian warrior, and by referring to him as an angel.'

Mounted tapirs now seem entirely plausable.

Friend demmocommie, I know of a rusted out two-toned '75 Torino on blocks you can have for the taking...

WhattheH, thanks for the missive which I will respond to shortly.ASV, your virginal powers are asset to the board but your avatar distracts the male visitors from their manly duties. Perhaps a likeness of "Major Tammy" might serve to guide our thoughts back to their preferred UberChristian paths...durrati Homepage 02.17.06 - 7:24 pm #


Anonymous WhattheH said...

Are you okay? I saw that you posted at the General's and was glad, because there are some mighty fine people in that community and I include you. The loss of even one is sad.
I'm not sure why you posted's a personal thing and it's your blog but ... why? It's ancient history.
Durrati, you know that we do not agree on everything, so take my comments in the spirit with which they were intended. Normally I love your blog, but this one left me scratching my rapidly depleting hair (I'm a woman, so loss of hair is a real big problem)

4:46 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

No big thing,whattheheh,

I just wanted to have some of my comments in my archives...I hope you forgive this vanity....

I was surprised that I was allowed to comment at J.C.'s and hope that that happy circumstance continues. They are a fine community tho I think they misread my heart. I hold no acrimony and would hope to rejoin them, I have searched for J.C's equal but have not found it yet.... I fear however that it is just a lapse in security :(

6:02 PM  
Anonymous WhattheH said...

I don't believe there is any such lapse. :}

12:29 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

You saying so gives me hope.... there are few sites that I have seen where your comment is neither lost in the shuffle or lonely... J.C.s place has a perfect number of commentors it seems to me, and you certainly cannot say they are not paying attention ;)

3:00 PM  

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