Wednesday, March 29, 2006

THE ASS AND THE FLUTE

Excuse me for being off topic but a quick post in honor of the dust-up at J.C's
The Ass and the Flute

This little fable heard,
It good or ill may be;
But it has just occurred
Thus accidentally.
Passing my abode,
Some fields adjoining me
A big ass on his road
Came accidentally.
And laid upon the spot,
A Flute he chanced to see,
Some shepherd had forgot
There accidentally.
The animal in front
To scan it nigh came he,
And snuffing loud as wont,
Blew accidentally.
The air it chanced around
The pipe went passing free
And thus the Flute a sound
Gave accidentally.
“O then,” exclaimed the Ass,
“I know to play it fine;
And who for bad shall class
This music asinine?”
Without the rules of art,
Even asses, we agree,
May once succeed in part,
Thus accidentally.

51 Comments:

Blogger KidKawartha said...

durrati-
As thick as I am, I'll comment on this one in a while. On another topic, just posted my first post, ever. YOU CAN BE THE FIRST TO LEAVE A COMMENT ON WHAT WILL SURELY BE A HISTORY-SHAKING BLOG!!!

Or not. It's a really dull one until I really get my ass in gear and get a digital cam.

4:56 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

Dur-

Donkey's are so damned cute!

As for the poem-

Any ass that can "exclaim" or talk in any way shape or form, for that matter, is pretty smart in my book. So why is his musical ability so surprising? ;-D

5:54 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

I heard once that there was a real frenchman that could break wind to the entirety of the Marsellaise, does that count?
Thank Jeebus I was born with no musical talent whatsoever.

6:03 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

I agree, asses are capable of anything. Now J.D. thinks me pathetic :(

6:03 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Canuck, when he does the 1812 Overture, I'm leavin' the room

6:05 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

What do you mean he thinks you pathetic?

6:07 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

He classed all that groveled that way, and he was right. I just loves me the General so much I capitulated even though I thought the bit hilarious. Funny how the day after we cleared the air about all this gyno-spelunking stuff, stinkeye was back to slicing off penises...

6:12 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

Okay,
Since we are talking about donkeys and Orwell- sort of.

My favorite scene in any book is the scene in Animal Farm where the donkey- who denies he can read- realizes that the humans are taking Boxer off to the glue factory when he reads the side of the truck they're putting Boxer in. He screams bloody murder but too late.

It is so multi-laired and metaphorically perfect for our times. It was just great literature when I read it as a boy but now it is the embodiment of so many segments of society that feign ignorance about what is going on yet will probably sound the call to arms when it is too late.

Literature or social relevance- it makes me cry every time a read it because it is to perfectly written.

6:18 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

Stinkeye never practices what she preaches. She is a known blackmailer and pirate.

6:21 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

durrati-
What JD thinks of you or me is his problem. I asked him to e-mail me so I can tell him how fucking funny he is IN PERSON without the scrutiny of the General's crowd. Y'know? There's somethings you can't communicate out in the open. And if he thinks I'm whipped, that's fine- I'm just trying to find a balance b/t how much of a snark-master I think he is and the matriarchs of the site.
WCFTM-
I gotta read some Orwell again sometime. It's been so long, and there's always 7 books I've got to read NOW.

6:26 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

and here abouts an ass with a flute...

6:28 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

FixThis

canuck jumped in the middle, which is fine, I wanted you to know my last comment was in ref. to stinkeye...

6:31 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

FixThis,

You don't misspell, why "Multi-laired??"

6:32 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

"Laird of McAnus",

I am such a dumbass..and p-whipped... my self esteem! I must laufg!!!!!

6:43 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

I think I am "permitted" to "overpost" at mine own blog. Aren't I?

6:45 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

canuck, ease off the Rev. G. he loves him some stinkeye but has not been paricularly nasty...yet.I do so want J.D. to like me I loves his lil hat...

6:50 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

I did mispel. As is my natur.

My inabilaty to spel is only superseeded by my inibility to find love and romanse. Such is the life of a lowlly writter.

6:52 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

Canuck-

Let us know if JD contacts you.

I just hope he makes it through all this mess, safe and sound. He is a good man- insane- but a smart man with a good heart and a vivid imagination. Losing him would be a sad day at the General's.

6:56 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Neber feer,

Jd, hast jest bgin to fighty...

7:09 PM  
Anonymous WhattheH said...

Hey bud, haven't been to the General's site - haven't had time and this is the first site I visit. I must go over and determine what is going on - it sounds rather seditious.
Love the poem. Donkeys are so very sublime. They do exactly what they want, refuse to do what they don't want and methinks, they are a heck of a lot smarter than most humans. Thanks for my first giggle of the day.
Jackie, I read the previous comments, and I can relate to the Tourettes situation. What a fine son you have, and that is a testament to his mother. When I was a sprite - some 45 years ago, my best friend was a young lady named Suzie and my second best friend was a chap named Herb. In those days, Suzie would have carried a label of "retarded" and Herb was "black". Suzie was odd in our white bread community school. She was larger than the "ordinary" kids (and I use the word ordinary because we were - she was extraordinary). She was funny, she was loving, she was just an incredible person. Unfortunately, she was gone the following year. Suzie was a Down Syndrome child, and I suspect that she was removed to an alternate school because of some complaints, although I couldn't prove it. Strange, because prior to Suzie, I had never been exposed to a mentally challenged person. For me, it was a wonderful experience. You could not ask for a better friend. Loving, devoted, kind, caring... I missed her terribly. My own family life was nothing to write home about, and Suzie provided me with unconditional acceptance and love and I sincerely hope I did the same for her.
Herbie was a wonderful person as well. He had a smile that made you smile. He was funny and loving - always there to help and support. His family moved away after two years, and we lost touch. Something about him being black and me being white. I couldn't understand then, and quite frankly, I don't understand today. I later heard that there were nasty goings on from the whitebread community and Herbie's parents decided that they should move to a more amenable location. My goodness, with all the religion in the world, all the preaching about acceptance and love, all the money being made by the televangelists, it's abominable that there is any situation wherein discrimination occurs, is acceptable. I've worked with young folks, and have had encounters with a youngster with Tourettes, so I did a lot of reading. It's been documented that these afflicted folks have above average intelligence. It really pisses me off (forgive the vulgarity) that they are not given the attention they deserve, while the multinational corporations are cleaning up on profits provided by their less than ethical practices.
On that note, while I was watching the morning show, there was a researcher and a man, talking about "dirty electrical impulses" which are, according to them, rampant in every home. The show is quite respectable and do investigate everyone before they put them on the roster. Anyway, apparently, this researcher and her team have determined that there is a great deal of "dirty electricity" that is given off by various appliances - including lightbulbs. They have developed filters to address the problem, and it appears to be working, as attested by a gentleman who has many such filters in his house. Before the filters, he suffered from mega headaches and joint pain - to the point of disability. After the filters, he has no headaches and his pain has been minimized to the extent that he is now totally mobile. In addition, the researcher indicated that they had wonderful results with diabetics (sugar stabilization) and muscular dystrophy sufferers - some strengthening of the muscles. I must admit that I'm leery of all such claims, but I'm going to be investigating this one.
Nuff said for tonight. I went back to work on a part time basis, and am faced with full time hours - at about $50 less per hour than I used to make. I think I need a psychiatrist.

7:42 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Whattheheh,

Donkeys are seditious...or haven't you heard? Thank you for your insights; now I must turn off some lights. Yer a peach dear!

7:56 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

Ok, as usual, I'm totally lost. I think my Universal Translator is broken.
First, I hope I didn't somehow unknowingly insult jackie o., we haven't heard back from her here.
durrati-
My posts to the Rev. are a form of religious insider respect- I know the terminology first-hand and in every response to his posts I'm laughing at how he nails the "Holy-Roller" persona. So what General-insider stuff am I missing re: him and stinkeye, or are we at the 6th circle of snark over here? I'm laughing but it's hard to keep up with the rules!
fixthis-
I will, and if it's appropriate, let you know how he is. But, believe me, he's as tough as annti is. There's a name for his personality type- the guy who's always first off the cliff and never regrets it. I just jump next and worry later how I'm going to deal with it.
whattheh-
Don't get me started. It's an issue that makes we want to remove the glove and start kicking some ass in the community, particularly the church one. I can still barely talk about my recently late Opa and my Down's Syndrome aunt.

And I LOVE that line: he's a good man- insane- but.....

8:06 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

kid,

I leaf the rev. to you...

8:23 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

canuck,

I think Jackie is a primarily a "morning poster"...shes got a life...

8:25 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

durrati-
No worries, she responded on last post. By the way, I resemble that comment.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous jackie_o said...

Whattheh,
I don't know what to say. Thanks, and let me know what you find out. I wish the news was better on the job front.
canuck,
I answered you on the post below.
How could you have insulted me. I cracked up over that church story.
durrati,
I explained below. I got lost in some film noir today. "The Postman Always Rings Twice" followed by "Double Indemnity." It was heaven.

8:41 PM  
Anonymous jackie_o said...

whoops...I see you caught it. nevermind.

8:43 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Jackie,

I try to catch 'em all...

fellow dissidents, I threw another bomb in the dreaded post any support would be appreciated....

8:56 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

durrati-
If MzNicky kidnaps, tortures and executes you..........


can I have your blog?

9:29 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

Troops-
JD just sent me an e-mail. If I get his permission, I'll copy it here. I haven't laughed that hard since....I don't know when.

9:50 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Canuck

you go kid, and please let him knoe he is welcome in our good company...

10:06 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Cauck,

yes, but whatthehey has first rights...

10:07 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

durrati-
If you haven't checked the General yet, this thing just blew it's top. I'll check you back here.

10:17 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

And by the way, if this was all an Orwellian plot to get some of the best of the General's posters to abscond over here, it's working brilliantly, brother. Hey, I made a literary reference and didn't screw it up!

10:27 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Well, you heard it here first or second folks, I,canuck, and Joe Don are racists, homophobes and misogynists. Because we will not rinse Mznick's panties we are scum of the Earth. Enjoy saving the planet at j.c.s, fixit if you can stomach it....

10:32 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

Well, he didn't specifically mention me. ......;);)
The way I see it, you have three or four choices.
Apologize and continue your brilliant posting over there.
Don't apologize and continue your brilliant posting over there.
Get your ass tossed by putting your foot over the line one last time and leave in a glorious flameout.
Ask to be banned and we and everyone else will enjoy your company over here.
As I said, I'm a peacemaker and I've tried to stay on everyone's side, but a couple of the matriarchs never welcomed me nor encouraged me, which is fine. The ones who did know who they are.
And I've never said it there or here, but Christo-bashing is the flavor of the year on the Left, and I've never let it bother me, I just avoid posting on those threads as much as possible. At the same time, I won't apologize for who I am and what I believe. I believe in humanity. I'm not going to say whether I would hang around there all that much if the Generel boots you both, but I will stick with the ones I came to the dance with.
Be yourself, brother, but remember that your present self isn't your final or completed one.

10:44 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

I go out for three hours and look what happens.

Damnit, I hate that things are going down like they are. If you guys had just laid low for a couple of days I bet it would have all worked out just fine.

I think the General is more mad that you guys are fighting with his most loyal people. This totally sucks. I don't want you guys to go anywhere.

10:47 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

Fuck the General, he called me a racist. I hope my friends come to see me here.

10:54 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

It never ceases to amaze me how much life and how fun you can have with people you've never met, and probably never will, because of this incredible invention called the Internets.
WCTFM-
What is, is. People will make their choices and I've made mine. I just have a better ability, good, bad or indifferent, to apologize and move on. Some would call that capitulation. And who knows what will happen? Maybe JoeDon will create the next reigning snarkfest of a blog.
I just know that over the course of a couple of weeks, I've made some great friends in some strange places and I'm grateful to all of you.

10:56 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

I think the supreme rule over at the General's is that you are a newcomer for at least two or three months. They don't let too many people into the inner circle.

You and Joe Don were heading that way and just like me were gonna have to pass through some testing and take some lumps. I hope you do apologize and stick around Duratti. It really is an amazing place and I've seen it be a good thing for you.

I think Joe Don just tried to lead the threads before he'd earned that right. He is a brilliant man and I would probably get on a plane just to be near him and worship his comic genius. But the site is totally about playing well with others.

AHHHHHHH! This fucking sucks!

10:58 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

Breathe, Qui Gon, breathe.
We know who you are, and who you're not, and it's both the General's loss and his posters if it finishes this way.
I keep thinking of Bendom and his friends at RedHate and the parallels and non-parallels.

10:59 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

I hope ya'll come to visit.

11:08 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

I don't think he called you a racist- he said he was 99% close to thinking you were a misogynist. And I think his main point is that you guys kept pushing. He also said he really liked the things you guys say.

You are just getting lumped in with Joe Don. Which is unfair. I never want to say I told you so but I suggested as plainly as I could that you lay low- just let it blow over.

The sad part is that you are totally catching Joe Don's crap because it looks like your his sidekick. He's the one who went to war tonight- not you. And I know you were just trying to be funny and diffuse the situation with your misoandrist comment.

I'm really sorry all this is happening. I tried to do what I could to make sure it didn't. Is there anything I can do to help now?

11:11 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

fuck him, he called me a racist as sure as he called me a misogynist. he is a poseur, a cuntstruck fraud...

11:15 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

Now your just mad.

Stop posing while you are mad. You are to smart a guy to do that. Just cool down and let this alone till the morning.

My guess is that most of the people on the site read the general's post and know that he is wrong to call you that. Just let it breathe till tomorrow and see if you feel differnt then. This is really Joe Don's fight and you just caught stray bullets.

11:20 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

I meant stop posting- sorry

11:20 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

not so, Fixit,

Def. - cuntstruck- so deprived of the love of women that one is determined to let nothiong stand in the way of it. A loser, a geek, brillant of mind or dull to the core;a pussy repellant so powerful that only abject compliance offers hope of a handjob.

11:28 PM  
Blogger durrati said...

facist bastard blog anyway

11:30 PM  
Anonymous Joe Don Martin, Esq. said...

Troops,

I had this great attack post, with a reasonable entree notched and ready to let fly when haloscan ate half of it- the good shit. Then, I saw durrati's reply to MzNicky's little bitchboy and I didn't feel like trying to resurrect my wrath by retyping so i just said fuck it. Here I am.

But I'll go back there under cover of alternate email to throw wooden shoes in the mix.....

Laughing all the way to Wal-mart,

Joe Don Martin!

11:31 PM  
Blogger WeCanFixThisMess said...

I'm sorry it came to this.

I got nothing but respect for you guys. I know that all this clusterfuck is just some stupid shit misunderstanding. It's wrong and unfair.

11:37 PM  
Blogger KidKawartha said...

JoeDon-
Leave my ancestor's choice of hand-hewn footwear out of it.
Why do Dutchmen wear wooden shoes?
To keep the woodpeckers off their heads.
Wooden shoes, wooden head, wouldn't listen.

How do you make copper wire?
Throw a penny b/t two Dutchmen.

11:46 PM  

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